included some new tensions as Keith and I figure this parenting business out. I'll be honest...it's a lot of EVERYTHING...and with an almost 2.5 year old, things are sometimes very challenging (and more than slightly overwhelming).
Such as:
~not wanting to leave the hotel for reason x....oh how I wish I was fluent in Korean. Although, his words (I recorded) were not understood by native speakers ....but still.
~having our first major public meltdown at Pororo Park over a pair of sand pants (so glad SeungHwan finally calmed down) but he/we pulled through and we had a ton of fun there.
~having our second major meltdown on the subway on the way home from Pororo Park over a chocolate donut (yes, that's right)...not only did everyone on the subway line hear but also a little old halmoni, who kindly whipped some chocolate out of her purse to give to SeungHwan (which of course was unacceptable...)
But then after making dinner back at the hotel, some playtime at the playground, a bath, and some cartoons, SeungHwan was ready for bed. As I strapped him into his carrier, I was talking to him. I don't even remember what I said before but this was the best part and really all that matters:
me: 사랑해 승환아..
SeungHwan (in the sweetest, whispery voice): 사랑 엄마
Melt my heart.
Translation:
me: I love you SeungHwan.
SeungHwan: Love Mommy (I love you)
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It's those sweet moments that make all the other hard, frustrating, overwhelming moments kind of melt into the background!
ReplyDeleteExactly how I felt last night. <3 :)
DeleteI think I felt like this for a good year after bringing Simon home- not to freak you out:) I would always obsess over if the freakouts were attachment related or just because he was 2 or because C, D, E...then I would obsess about if it MATTERED what the reason was and would that change how I reacted to them, etc. etc. I'm sure in reality its just a combination of all those things. But more power to you for dealing with all of those things in public! :) It will be nice for you to get home and have some private time in SeungHwan's new home so he can adjust.
ReplyDeleteDesirae.....hehe, thanks for the warning. I am trying to be understanding since his whole world has flipped upside down. So all these very difficult things are "normal" and even though I expected some of them, they are just so much more real now that we are living them. Lots of deep breaths and I am so thankful for my hubby. So thankful for this little boy. We are adjusting at home, slowly but surely. hugs.
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