Referral Monday 7:00pm....

This day will remain one of the best days ever in my book.  The day we saw our son's picture for the very first time.  The day our hearts knew he belonged with us.  The day we fell in love.

I got home from work around 6:30 and proceeded upstairs to return email to friends and family about our adoption fundraiser. Keith returned from the grocery store around 6:45 and begins cooking dinner.  I shout a hello and made my way downstairs around 6:50 to get a drink.  The phone rings and as I look at the name on the caller ID it registers it is Marsha from Dillon.  I look at Keith, say "it's Marsha!!" and answer. I had no idea she was planning on calling us and since Keith and I had yet to debrief about our day he hadn't told me yet.  I am not thinking about anything, other than the fact Marsha was on the phone.

She begins the conversation by saying she was calling to discuss with us the type of child we would be willing to accept.  Keith pauses the cooking and he joins the conference call.  We talk about how we know we would not be able to accept a referral of a child with a life threatening disease.  I wish my heart could do it, but it simply could not handle the sadness involved. I did tell her we would be open to a child who was hard of hearing or deaf.  She then asks us about how we felt about mothers who drank or smoke during their pregnancy (a very common and culturally accepted behavior in Korea).  I explained how if it were me, I would obviously not choose to make those choices, but that we understood it is a common situation for many babies.  We then talked about some of the effects of smoking and drinking (FAS, FAE). She asks if we have any more questions and I ask about the length of referral wait time.  She then asks us to describe our ideal referral situation.  I pause for a minute and say something along the lines of "Well, if you called us tomorrow with a referral we would be thrilled, but we know we have a long wait in front of us and we going to have to be patient.  We have decided not to decorate, paint or buy anything big (like a crib) until we accept a referral so we have something to do while we wait. We know we have to wait but we have been waiting a long time for this as well."  Marsha said something (can't for the life of me remember what) and says "Well, how would you feel about tonight? I paused again, speechless and managed a "Are you serious?!?" and she answers "yes".  OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!!!!! The tears well up and Keith and I are just looking at each other stunned silly.  She tells us they received a referral last week for a baby boy who is "just fine".  The baby's file reached their office last week and after they read it they "all just looked at each other and asked when is the McMaster application coming in?!"  They matched us with him due to hearing loss in his left ear as an infant. I studied deaf education in college.  She tells us some facts off the file: low birth weight, hearing loss at birth but tested normal during the follow-up, born in June at 37 weeks weighing 2.4 kgs (approx 5 pounds), doing really well and reaching developmental milestones, treated for sepsis in the NICU then discharged to be put up for adoption.  She tells us he had 3 hospital visits in  November for brochiolitis and an intestinal disorder.  She tells us great news that the birth mom reported she did not smoke or drink during pregnancy (which was my biggest concern).  He was given a name meaning they want him to be a great person.  He was born vaginally with Apgar scores of 9 and 10.  She tells us about the hearing tests which was normal in December.  Next, Marsha tells us to "take a breath" and we talk about what will happen next and how it will work, she will send a file via email for us to look at containing photos and medical and background information.  She suggests we review the document first and then view the photos...which we thought to be very wise. We talk about sending the file to a Dr. (we had already decided on which one) We talk about the time frame to which she said "take as much time as you need, but not more than you need to", but the Hague convention says 2 weeks.  We talk about what would happen if we did accept and if we didn't accept the referral.  We talk about the travel time...."well over a year"...."18 months".  She tells us they will keep us posted on how long the process will be. Marsha mentions how his papers arrived at just the right time, as did ours.  We thank her and thank her again and end the conversation.  Hugs and tears and almost immediate checks for the email.  I call Krista and let her know Auntiehood might very well be around the corner!! We decide to read it on our own first.

We head run upstairs and open the document up.  We see his birthday (June 7th) and I immediately gasp thinking it was the same date as Paige's birthday, then quickly realized it was a few days prior.  Paige's birthday  is the 11th, Claire's is the 7th. We read over everything and hooray for the internet
There are a lot of tests and some concerns because we are not doctors but from what we can tell, his health looks very promising!

We open the pictures (so excited to see more than one!!) and see several photos of a beautiful little baby and a photo of each of his ears (which we wondered about).  I was surprised to see a photo with a woman and we wonder if she is his foster mother. After a few minutes of admiration and a few more tears, we are off to Krista's to share our happiness with her.  Krista studies the report really well...she even made me a sheet with some of baby's stats while I closed my eyes fighting a migraine.

Called Dad and shared the good news. We looked at the Dr.'s office website again and called and left a message saying we would like to set up and appointment and I would be forwarding our file to them.  Sent it off and we are so excited!!!!!

We went to bed at 2:30 am and I know now that wasn't much earlier than the 2 am times I made it to bed the rest of the week. Phew!